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Haircuts Abroad COVER

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Haircuts Abroad
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William P. Tandy
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Excerpt from Haircuts Abroad

      Things came to a mock head at dinner. Three days of driving on the “wrong” side of the road were clearly taking their toll on Janet, who had been listed with Avis as the principal driver.
      “I think we’re too noisy for Janet,” Sue said at the dinner table. “She’s used to silence, and we’re…”
      “Just too edgy,” I finished.
      Janet just sat there and said nothing. Two hours of listening to Sue’s new Welsh harp CD in the car had robbed her capacity for argument.
      “You haven’t had to do this much driving on the wrong side of the road,” she said.
      “Don’t you even try to pretend that the roads in the homeland haven’t got a left side,” I said. “Besides, just think of it as extended passing.”
      At this Susan lost herself in some sort of involuntary, snorting laugh, but herself had been falling short for the past few hours. (I had been off-center all day.)
      Returning to the car from the docks in Gloucester, Sue had sighted a new forest-green Honda parked in the lot.
      “That’s probably a ’99,” she said, “like the one Chris has, but it doesn’t have…a…” - Janet and I looked at her as she began to wave her arm back-and-forth in a swinging motion - “witcha-witcha-witcha-witcha-witcha in the back window.”
      Her superior number of years of association coming into play, Janet rang in first.
      “Windshield wiper,” she mumbled as she started the car, and as the lilting melodies of the Celtic harp eased our worried minds, we drove off into the roundabout, like the ball on the roulette wheel, spinning around and around before coming to rest on the magic number that will take you home, but too often leaves you with just another dizzying headache.

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